I’ve been documenting my life and sharing it online (as many millennials do, but probably to a greater extent) for well over a decade now. I started my first blog in 2013, with an instagram account soon following, and have received many comments from people I’ve known over the years about how much confidence I have to have to take photos of myself and share them. To be honest, I’m really not that confident of a person, I’m actually quite shy and private, I’m just someone who has learned to shrug it off and form a sort of (I think healthy) detachment to my image. So here’s what I’ve learned from consistently documenting myself and sharing it publicly:
you wont love every picture of yourself - we can be our harshest critics, and it’s impossible to look your best all the time. Not every picture is going to be one to print, but taking more photos can increase the probability of producing a favourite.
you will always find things to feel insecure about - some of the most beautiful people in the world are the most insecure. Self-esteem is not a measure of good looks (and while we’re here, what are good looks anyways? It’s all arbitrary to an extent). With that in mind, I find it easier to let go of the little things that can bother me.
people will always judge you - the truth is that people really do think terrible things about you that can hurt your feelings, despite the suggestion that “people aren’t worried about you, they’re just worried about themselves.” If you’ve ever scrolled through a busy comment section, you know people are judgemental - they just don’t often say these things out loud to the person they are casting judgement toward. Finding the confidence from within is really important, because even if people are judging you, why should you care about their opinion? Their opinion (and their willingness to voice it) says more about them than you at the end of the day. Hurt people, hurt people.
as women, our monthly cycle greatly affects how we view ourselves and how we look physically - take it from someone who has documented themselves daily for years. I can tell what time of the month a certain photo was taken. Extra puffiness in my face and a little extra bloat vs a healthy glow and a pimple free jawline? It’s an easy tell. But why should we be camera shy for half of our cycle (and nearly half of our adult lives)?
these first few points are why I think body neutrality is the way to go over body positivity
Now I’ve been sitting writing this out for quite some time, and I’ve realized my list has gotten away on me. Stay tuned for a part two tomorrow!
Cate Kittlitz